Finding Her Palette
by GinnyRox
Summary: I could never get the portrait just right. Every time I looked at Ginny I noticed something I hadn’t seen before. The way her smile lit up her entire face, or the way her brow furrowed sweetly when she was angry.Dean/Ginny one-shot.


"_Love is always changing and unless we stay aware and change with it, it eludes us__."_

—Leo Buscaglia

**Disclaimer: The quote above and the characters in this story don't belong to me. **

**Author's Note: So some background info on this story really quick. It takes place during HBP when Dean is dating Ginny. And I'm sure some of you guys will be really happy to know that I tried my hardest to make it as canon as I could! So I hope you'll all enjoy it! **

Chapter One: Finding Her Palette

I stood inside the compartment with only my head peeking out. Person by person walked down the narrow aisle, none of them who I was looking for. I listened as I heard many shrill, excited voices greeting each other while resisting the temptation to cover my ears.

"Close the door, mate!" A musical accent ordered from behind me. "Before your legs _accidentally_ get rooted to that spot."

I heard a rustling noise and turned around quickly, "Seamus, you wouldn't!"

"No, but I figured it was the best way to get you to sit down," I noticed him pocketing his wand with a smug grin.

Grudgingly I took the window seat, doing my best to ignore Lavender and Parvati's giggles. My eyes were drawn to the window and the crowds below. I watched the many students say goodbye to their families and board the train. There was one kid, a first year I guessed, who was so occupied in reading a piece of parchment that he collided with one of the columns. Before I could help it, I laughed.

"May I ask what's so funny?"

"A kid just walked into a column and his trunk burst open!" My answer was met with silence.

I turned my head to see a petite red head rolling her eyes with a grin, "You're always the one to laugh at other people's expense, aren't you?"

"Ginny!" I went over and gave her a peck on the lips, forgetting my friends were watching.

"As romantic as this is to watch, I'm getting seriously squished here!" Parvati said with a slight smile.

"Oh, sorry," A slight blush surfaced on Ginny's face.

I sat by the window seat and she followed my lead, taking the seat next to me.

"So how was everybody's summer? Ginny asked just as the train began to move.

"Mine was great! I went skiing in Germany with Parvati and her parents." Lavender said enthusiastically. "It was scary at first because neither of us knew how to ski, but then we got the hang of it and it was so easy!"

Parvati only looked down at her shoes with a frown, probably annoyed at Lavender for answering first.

"You're so lucky!" I said to Lavender and Parvati. "All I did was stay home and play Muggle board games with my younger sisters."

Parvati looked up at me and smiled, "I wish I had a younger sister!"

"Trust me you don't," I muttered. Seamus chuckled and Ginny smiled at me knowingly.

"Doesn't anybody want to know how my summer was?" Seamus pretended to look hurt then continued, "I went to visit my relatives in Ireland like every other bloody summer."

I listened to the conversation as it went on, trying to resist my drooping eyes. I had stayed up late last night doing last minute packing. Mum had only managed to run to Diagon Alley that morning.

The last things I heard before my eyes closed were the compartment door sliding open and fading footsteps.

I watched the last of the sorting ceremony with amusement. The nervous first years reminded me a lot of my first day at Hogwarts. I remembered how I kept bouncing on the balls of my feet anxiously waiting for my name to be called. The memory brought a grin to my face.

I jumped slightly as I heard applause, my reverie forgotten. Food appeared on the table and I realized how hungry I was. I piled a little bit of everything onto my plate and got down to business. Halfway through all the food I remembered my sketchbook.

Reaching into the pocket of my school robes I found it. The book was medium sized and a bit battered from many years of use. But it had everything in it.

"Ginny," I tapped her on the shoulder. "Do you want to see some of my pictures?"

Her face lit up wit curiosity and she nodded, "Sure."

I opened the cover to reveal the first picture, if you could really call it that. It was a stick figure that was supposed to be my father done in crayons. The only thing that was closest to a photo of my father before he left.

I didn't look at Ginny as I skipped a few pages.

Next there was a picture of my backyard that was better. The grass had a bit of texture to it and the sunset didn't look like a smear of colors. Another one of my pet owl, Hermes, sleeping soundly in his cage back when he was a lot smaller. Then came what I liked to call the "doodle pages." Where there would be dozens of sketches of a hand or eyes. I flipped over those quickly. Finally, I came to the last one of Hogwarts done in charcoal. The detail was a bit off since I drew it during the summer, but I supposed it caught the feel of Hogwarts.

I looked up, feeling as though I was awaiting the decision of the sorting hat a second time. Only worse.

"Those are incredible!" Ginny said, with sincerity written all over her face.

"You think so?" I asked almost doubtfully.

She rolled her eyes and answered me with a question of her own, "How long have you been drawing these?"

"I'd say since I was..." I paused to think while squinting up at the ceiling's stormy clouds, "at least six or seven."

I glanced at Ginny to see her looking farther down the table. She was watching Harry, Ron, and Hermione talking to each other. What really caught my attention though was the blood all over Harry's face. Everyone was silent as they tried to hear what they were saying. Harry refused to talk about it anymore and soon the regular conversations resumed.

Later that night I sat in the dorms, thinking about the conversation with Ginny. Suddenly an idea sprang into my head. Once again my hand dug into the pocket of my robes and resurfaced with my sketchbook. Hastily, I flipped it open to a blank page and took a pencil out of its spirals.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on one thing. Ginny. The first thing that popped into my mind was her heart-shaped face. Then I saw those light brown eyes, followed by her delicate nose that curved at the end. Those lips that were soft and resembled the color of a pink rose. And, my favorite, her vivid hair that just about reached her shoulder blades now.

Before I knew it, my pencil was moving. I watched the lines form, as unique as any fingerprint. Each had a purpose, some kind of connection to the final result. And as I continued I was reminded of the puzzles my sisters loved. Millions of pieces scattered all over the place, waiting to create something that made sense.

With a yawn, I put down my sketch and surveyed it for a moment. Then I turned off the lights, not bothering to change into my pajamas.

The first month back was over and I began to settle into a routine. There were four things that I mainly focused on: Ginny, my friends, the sketch, and (of course) the heaps of school work.

October had just begun and with it came a day I was really looking forward to, the Hogsmeade trip. I met Ginny by the entrance and we decided to walk instead of taking the carriage.

The moment we stepped out of Hogwarts a blistering wind hit us square in the face. I ducked my head trying to escape the impact.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all!" Ginny yelled over the howling wind.

I chuckled at her reluctance, and then said, "Well, it was your idea after all!" I took her arm and linked it through mine. "Anyways the carriages just left so we don't have a choice anymore."

We continued wading through the deep snow in silence. It took a lot of concentration just to make sure my feet didn't get stuck. Eventually the wind died down and I decided now was a good time to make conversation.

"What's the rest of your family like?" I asked and then clarified. "I mean besides Ron, Fred, and George."

"My mum is very protective of us all and treats us like we're still children. Dad is more laid back although he is seriously obsessed with learning everything about Muggles."

Ginny laughed before continuing.

"If he knew I was dating you, he'd probably send you a long letter asking how a garden hose works or how Muggle money is counted."

"Don't you have three more brothers too? Are any of them sane?" I teased her with a grin.

She lightly shoved me with her other arm before continuing, "Yes, I do. There is Percy who loves to follow the rules and now works at the Ministry. He doesn't talk to us anymore. Then there is Charlie and Bill. Charlie is in Romania working with dragons right now. And Bill works at Gringotts and is engaged to Phle―I mean, Fleur Delacour."

"And here I was thinking my family was huge," I muttered to myself.

Just then we came to Hogsmeade. Ginny grabbed my hand and lead me into the first shop we saw. Unfortunately, it was Madame Puddifoot's Tea Shop. I had never seen so much pink in my life until I stepped in there and it was _everywhere._

"Well, this décor ought to go well with my hair," Ginny winked at me as she fiddled with a strand of hair.

Once we were seated Ginny resumed our conversation, "What about your family?"

I sighed and thought to myself that Ginny always liked to use other people's questions against them. I knew I was stalling so I answered as best as I could.

"My dad, my real dad, walked out on the family when I was very young. And I've always thought that he was a Muggle, but now I'm not so sure." I deliberated over that for a moment. "My mum is a Muggle and once she lost dad she remarried right away."

Ginny looked very thoughtful as I said the last part and I watched her for a couple moments.

"And I have six step-sisters, all of them younger and without any powers."

"Are you going to stay here for Christmas?" She asked, changing the subject.

I shook my head with a grin, "I have to go home and help mum with the long Christmas list!"

"Yeah I'm going home too. There's not much to do here during break anyways."

I glanced at my watch and noticed the time at Hogsmeade was almost up, "We have to go."

Both of us got up from the table and headed for the door. I got there first and held it open for Ginny. Outside tiny snowflakes were falling. I reached out my hand and gently brushed off her hair. I felt myself grinning as I thought of an idea.

"I'll race you back to Hogwarts!" I call behind my shoulder as I start running.

"Hey! Come back here!" I heard her say playfully as she ran after me.

Both of us slipped several times, laughing as our clothes got soaked. I actually got snow in my mouth once.

We made it back to Hogwarts just as the door was about to close. Both of us breathless and still laughing hard.

I still hadn't finished the sketch of Ginny.

It was as if every time I looked at her I noticed something I hadn't seen before. For instance how her eyelashes curled up at the ends and how she had one dimple on her right cheek. Each time I noticed a new detail I remembered it as best I could until I found the time to add it to the sketch.

School work had piled up as usual. And I was beginning to feel so overwhelmed that I didn't notice that I was spending less and less time with Ginny.

When I did spend time with her, I felt an odd sense of detachment between the two of us. Suddenly she would be very uncomfortable if I held her hand and she just seemed to be almost somewhere else rather than with me.

One day we had just gotten back from a walk around the lake and I had decided that I would ask her what was wrong. So when we were in a deserted hallway, I turned to Ginny and asked,

"Is something the matter? You seem different."

"It's nothing, really." Ginny sighed, "OWLs are coming closer and I'm just overwhelmed I suppose."

By her tone, I got a feeling that there was more to her sudden change then she was letting on. But I knew that now wasn't the time to broach the subject any more.

Acting on impulse, I reached out my hands to touch her face. I felt her soft cheek with one hand. With the other I traced her pale lips over and over again.

Ginny closed the little distance between us and touched her lips to mine. The kiss started out like it always did, slow and sweet. But then it became more intense and fast. All I was aware of was the warmth between us and her flowery smell.

"Oi!"

Ginny and I broke apart and looked around.

"What?" said Ginny.

"I don't want to find my own sister snogging in public!"

"This was a deserted corridor till you came butting in!" said Ginny.

I felt my face heat up under my dark skin and I knew I was blushing. I gave Harry a sheepish grin that wasn't returned.

"Er...c'mon, Ginny," I said, "let's go back to the common room..."

"You go!" said Ginny. "I want a word with my dear brother!"

I left, not at all sorry to abandon the raised voices behind me. It was too awkward to watch.

I had finished the sketch. The facial features were as authentic as possible. As I examined it, though, I realized that it lacked a certain something. Color. I knew how to fix that.

Rifling, through my trunk I found my favorite set of pastels. I dumped all the colors carelessly on the comforter of my bed. I considered each and every one of them for the sketch. After a while, I found the perfect palette of colors for her.

I started with shading the perimeter around the sketch a neutral color. Then I added some smudging to make it look like a proper background color. Then, Ginny's hair wasn't getting a smooth enough texture. Dragging my fingers down made it look better. For her face I used a porcelain color with a little pink on her cheeks.

My concentration started waning after an hour. So I decided to sleep. The sketch would have to be finished some other day.

The months had gone by swiftly. Christmas break seemed to have barely lasted. School had resumed in the beginning of January. But with apparition tests, homework, and a recent Quidditch game time had gone by fast. It was now March.

Ginny and I had just been studying in the library. We had just finished and were now walking to the common room. We were talking about the Quidditch game that had happened two days ago.

"Poor Harry! Did you see his face when McLaggen hit him with the bludger?" I imitated it with maybe too much exaggeration.

Ginny scowled at me, but I didn't let that deter me, "That's not funny! He could be seriously hurt!"

Now I realized my mistake. "I'm just joking around! I'm sure he'll be fine."

I said the password to the Fat Lady and helped Ginny into the portrait hole.

"And will you stop that? I can take care of myself, thank you."

"Sorry, Ginny. I just thought you girls were all into the whole chivalry thing!"

We both got into the common room and Ginny turned to glare at me. I looked down at the floor uncomfortably until she spoke.

"I wish you would stop making a joke out of everything I say!" she yelled, tears gathering in her eyes.

Besides her angry eyes on me, I could now feel another dozen pairs on the both of us. This only made me feel more awkward.

"Please don't cry," I attempted to hug her, but she backed away.

She said with as dignified a voice she could muster, "Leave me alone, Dean!"

I watched her run up the stairs into the girls' dormitory.

I tried to ignore the whispers around me that erupted like lava from a volcano. Looking straight ahead, I went up to my dormitory.

On my nightstand were my pastels and my sketchbook. I grabbed both of them and headed out the door. In the common room my eyes were rooted to the ground.

Once I got into the halls, I headed to the grounds. No one would bother me there, and I needed the solitude now more than ever. I found a nice grassy spot on a hill overlooking the lake and sat down.

Sketch book open and pastels ready, I got back to work. Her pupils had to first be colored in black. Her irises would be more difficult to do. I hunched over, concentrating as the right amount of brown was added. Now for her lips, the lightest pink I could find.

I stopped for a moment to see if anything had been forgotten. Of course, I hadn't colored in her eyebrows or teeth.

Finishing those, I kept on finding more that could be added. So I kept going, absorbed a little too eagerly. I didn't notice late afternoon had turned into dusk. Finally, when no light was left I put down the sketch and pastels. The sketch was finished, but I never realized it until later.

Lying back, I stared up at the night sky. Stars were slowly starting to show up. One, two three, four, five, six, seven I had counted. After awhile my mind turned to other matters. I didn't know how I would face Ginny.

A half an hour later, I still didn't have any answers. Packing up all my stuff, I went back to the common room. There was a Defense Against the Dark Arts essay there waiting to be finished.

Turns out my worries had been wasted. Ginny and I barely acknowledged each other in the next two months. Every now and then we'd see each other in the halls and smile. Or Ginny would come up and make small talk with me.

I wanted to _really_ talk to her, to straighten things out. But every fake smile or meaningless conversation seemed to dissuade me. It felt almost like we had broken up rather than argued.

One day after classes had finished, I walked back from dinner with Seamus. We—or should I say he since I was contributing almost nothing to the conversation— were talking about which were the best Quidditch teams.

"The Chudley Canons are nothing to the Holyhead Harpies!" Seamus said enthusiastically. "Don't you agree?"

I made a grunting noise that was promptly ignored as he continued.

Next to the Fat Lady, I noted vaguely, Ginny stood looking at me. I couldn't help noticing the contrast between the two and grin.

"Hey Dean," Ginny said almost shyly. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." Seamus took this as a cue to say the password and mutter a quick good-bye to me.

Ginny and I both started walking; neither of us knew quite where we were going. There was no conversation for a while.

She suddenly grabbed hold of my hand and led me into an empty classroom.

"The argument we had awhile ago got me thinking," she watched me carefully before continuing. "I don't think this is going to work out."

Despite how I almost guessed this would happen, I still felt my breath come out in one great, big _whoosh. _"That's why you were acting so weird, isn't it?"

She nodded and said simply, "Dean, we're too different."

"You're right." I said gravely as I walked out.

It was after the game between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw that I saw them. Everyone was in the common room, celebrating the victory as usual. I stood in the middle of it all.

And then I saw Ginny. Her back was to me and she was running. Suddenly a pair of arms caught her in a hug. I looked up to see Harry snogging her.

I felt something shatter in my hands. I couldn't make my eyes move to see what it was, though.

Without looking back, I shoved my way to the dorms. I found Ginny's portrait and headed back downstairs and noticed the crowd had thinned out. I looked around for a girl, any girl I knew.

I approached Parvati, now determined. "Can you give this to Ginny for me?'

My hand held out the cardboard-like paper for her to take.

"Sure," her brown eyes looked at me with what was surely pity.

As I walked away I pictured it. The portrait, every detail I had agonized over: from the sprinkle of freckles across her nose to that vivid, red hair. All of it, there, propped against her pillow. Its colors and shape waiting to be scrutinized by doubtful eyes.

_**THE END **_


End file.
